Why is it that so many relationships nowadays seem so complicated? I think that the reason is actually very simple; it comes down to different levels of commitment. Years ago, people dated - they dated to find a person that they would like to marry. Dating was more serious, so when you were on a date you were seeing if the other one was a good fit for a possible spouse. Everyone was really more on the same page, because there were only a couple of pages. Now there is a whole book and it is hard to figure out where your date is. Now here are different levels of commitment in no particular order, it kind of goes like this:
Chapter One - Just Having Fun!Chapter Two - Want Girlfriend/Boyfriend.
Chapter Three - Want Serious Girlfriend/Boyfriend, No Marriage!
Chapter Four - Want A Hook Up That I Can Call My Girlfriend/Boyfriend Only When I Want To.
Chapter Five - Want To Keep You On The Back Burner, Just In Case Nothing Else Works Out.
Chapter Six - Commitment Phobia!
Chapter Seven - Dating A Person That Does Not Want To Commit But I Am Sure They Will Change Their Mind.
Chapter Eight - Want To Know Marriage Is In The Future.
Chapter Nine - Looking To Get Married (For Some The Book Ends After Marriage).
Chapter Ten - Looking To Get Divorced!
Chapter Eleven - Want A Girlfriend/Boyfriend, But Have A lot Of Baggage And A Million Reasons Not To Get Married Again!
Chapter Twelve - Dating Someone Much Younger Because They Are Hot!
The problem with this is that men and women are almost always in different chapters. Where I see a lot of women is in Chapter Seven dating men that are in and around Chapter Four to Chapter Six. Are you guilty of dating someone who is not a good match for you? Let's just be clear - if you are looking for a long term relationship with your significant other and they are not ready to commit, you can not make them commit, nor do you want to!!! If you have been dating for awhile and I mean several months or a year - if they are ready to commit to you long term, you will have no doubt in your mind. Girls have a hard time with this but ask any guy you know, your man will let you know if he wants to get serious with you. They will not let you slip away if they think that you are the one for them.
On the other hand, if you have been dating awhile and your boyfriend or girlfriends facebook status is still single, or blank, they do not like you to go to parties with them or they tell you that they just want to date for like ten years! Leave - the chances of them changing their mind are about as good as you winning the lottery! If they do change their mind and you are gone, they will come looking for you. Stop wasting your valuable time dating people that are not a good match because you think that they are a good catch. If they do not want to be caught it is kind of a moot point isn't it?
Please date men or women in the same chapter as yourself. In order to do this take a step back and see who they are in someone else's eyes (or just ask your ever so patient friends, with a strong opinion about your situation). In other words stop dating Chapter Six thinking that Chapter Seven is right around the corner, especially since Chapter Seven is a very long miserable one. If you insist on doing this, you will be wasting more valuable time, and the next thing you know, you will be alone, however, your significant other will have most likely moved on to Chapter Twelve!
Change your thinking, you deserve a great relationship and accept nothing less! There are tons of people in the world and they just fit together differently. Imagine that all of the women and men in the world are like puzzle pieces. When you are working on a puzzle, just because one puzzle piece does not fit you do not throw it in the garbage and decide all of the puzzle pieces are the same. You know that they are all different, so you just keep looking until you find the perfect fit. Don't waste your time with the same puzzle piece trying to make it fit, it will never work!
Excellent philosophy on the contemporary "dating game". Finding a great partner with a soulful fit in the same chapter of life would be the only way for me to settle into a relationship. ;) Creating a full and happy life as a single woman has been the most rewarding and comforting approach to avoiding chapters 4 through 7. ;)